While waiting at the U.S. border I went on a rant...

Dear American border and customs officials-
I understand that due to your ridiculous jingoistic foreign policy you have a heightened security risk within your own borders. I understand that due to this security risk many people have a lot of animosity towards America and you must therefore be abrasive at customs. But did it ever occur to you the power of kindness? I know that word is not located in the handbook for customs officials but when you yell at each individual arriving at the U.S. border you are basically giving them another reason to hate America.
I know the motto is, "Whatever it takes," but these customs officials should also know that they are the first official welcome committee to the United States. When you badger people, ask them confusing questions when you know their first language is not English, you run the risk of making yet another enemy. Due to our failing economy that will implode at any minute, I don't think it wise to interrogate these people further then necessary.
I'm currently sitting at the U.S. border between Quebec and Vermont and have been sitting here for over an hour because a couple people did not answer these officials questions. There has been research that says people will stutter and even lie when placed under extreme stress and unfortunately these border officials have taken advantage of this very normal human impulse.
I must apologize for my country. America is a great place and Americans can be quite nice and friendly. I must apologize on behalf of my country to all who have had difficulty at the border and from experience I am going to give you a couple tips to take with you the next time you are at the border:

1) Answer their questions and do no ask why. For example when they look at your passport and ask why you went to Asia 5 years ago, just answer and don't ask them why.
2) Do not elaborate. I know you might think this will put them at ease but it mostly makes them nervous.
3) Do not joke around. Seriously.
4) Do not be prideful, cocky or arrogant. I know all you want to do is tell the border guards how rude and inappropriate they have been but save it. It will only prolong things and you might possibly get rejected. Ya, they do that.