St. Patricks Day was my half birthday so that, paired with the fact that my passport is about to expire prompted me to make this list. Let me preface this by saying the only true thing I know is that the longer I’m here on this crazy Earth, the more I realize I have so much to learn. This curiosity drives my passion to discover life on many different wavelengths and hopefully weave a net of experiences that can inspire others to be innovators. I learned these lessons through experience, observation and the valued opinions of others who I have met along my journey thus far. Please enjoy and share liberally.
- Every single person you encounter can teach you a lesson.There was a point in my life when I thought that I thought some relationships were a waste of my time. However, I soon realized those encounters did teach me valuable lessons in my life. I have now changed my perspective and I honestly believe that every person I meet is here to teach me something. This new perspective makes life much more enjoyable and less burdensome. Your life is a story and everyone you cross paths with only adds more depth to your tale.
- If you wouldn’t let a child do it, don’t do it yourself.
I use this one to gage how I should conduct myself in the real-world. When I was teaching children, I used to say all these inspiring things to them about how to act and then I found myself doing the opposite once I left the classroom and dealt with adults, especially in business. So, when I think of doing something sneaky in business I always ask myself, “Would I let one of my students get away with this?” If the answer is no, then I reconsider my actions and try to find a more ethical solution.
- Show, not tell.
Be the change you want to see in the world and lead by example. Being the example you set for others is very important. When you can live up to your words it is inspiring for others and makes non-believers think the impossible is possible. I have many friends in my life who say what they mean and act on it. It’s one of most attractive qualities a person can have, but it can also be a struggle, but it will be worth it. Be patient with yourself and try to work on it.
- Kids and drunk people are oddly similar, treat each accordingly.
I learned this in university while I was tutoring kids during the day and bartending at night. Don’t treat children like they are stupid, they are smarter than you think and will resent you for it later. However, don’t treat drunk people like rational humans in their moment of lushness. We all have our moments of utter stupidity, and that’s why we have kind-hearted sober people in our lives to make sure we get back on the right track.
- You are beautiful, already.
This one is primarily for the ladies, but men take note too. I was thankful to learn this lesson while I was 16. I battled with image and body issues as a teen, and then one summer I went to volunteer in Ghana. While I was there, people complimented me on my curves, freckles and all the other things I thought were odd about me. I realized that everyone is always going to find themselves awkward, but work with what you got, because it’s the only body you have. I find women absolutely breathtaking in so many ways. Their complex nature weaves them into a fabric of beautiful imperfections. The real beauty is owning those imperfections and knowing within yourself you are beautiful. Looks come and go, but compassion for yourself lingers for a lifetime.
- Even if you speak the same language, people communicate differently. I thought by learning other languages, I would be able to understand people better, but I soon realized that there is much more to communication than the words we employ. If you are not reaching someone, try to change the way you say it. If you still feel like you are not reaching the other person, respect the disagreement and disengage. It’s great to be passionate, but (s)he who shouts the loudest usually ends up looking the most stupid...and gets a sore throat, which is no fun. My goal in any conversation with someone is not to win the discussion but to better understand where they are coming from and from that point I can try to create a more sustainable solution.
- The force of nature is unchangeable; everything else is hackable.
I learned this lesson from David Suzuki. I had the privilege of meeting Mr. Suzuki during the 2010 Vancouver Olympics and he forever changed my views of how to combat climate change. When we first met, I admitted to him that I had little faith in environmental economics because people were stubborn and won’t change. He looked at me very sternly and said, “The only force that is unchangeable and utterly stubborn is nature...any other man-made force or system can be changed.” Even though those were not the most encouraging words, that outlook gave me a more optimistic view of how we can approach environmentalism going forward. People don’t like change, but it’s the only thing we can guarantee in life so, we better adapt before nature catches up to us and it is too late.
- Community is faith in public garb. People talk about the importance of networks, but I believe in the importance of community. Growing up in Marin, the idea community was not solely confined to the family or home. Home is always where the heart is when you are able to build communities around where you are located and what you are passionate about. Building and maintaining community is not always easy, but thankfully social media has made it easier and I have taken advantage of this tech tool.
- Kill them with kindness.
I hate to say it, but being kind to others is not as common as I thought. People are products of the society that raised them, so if they were not raised in a loving environment, they won’t be able to be kind or it won’t come naturally to them. If someone is rude or mean, have compassion for their struggle and be kind to them. Some cynics might think you are being fake, ridiculous or high, but if you are consistently kind to them, they get used to that feeling and kindness is very contagious and you will be remembered for it. As Kurt Vonnegut said, “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
- Ask for what you want and don’t be afraid of the big, bad NO.
I’m not sure if this comes from Irish Catholic upbringing but I have always been afraid to ask for exactly what I want. I thought that I could get by in life by having others guess what I want. Well, that doesn’t work at all and only disservices myself. I found a huge weight lifted when I gained the courage to ask for what I want. In the end, there is really no risk involved when I ask for what I want. If I get it, great! If I don’t then I’m basically in the same position I was before I asked.
- When things are good, prepare for the worst.
Oh, Canada, thank you for teaching me this lesson. Spending my formative years living in the Great White North taught me many valuable lessons, but especially this one. You could interpret this lesson liberally across different aspects of your life, however, it serves a multi-faceted purpose. When you are doing well, feeling secure and getting things done, that is the perfect opportunity to prepare for times when things don’t go your way. When you do this, the unexpected isn’t so scary and the unexpected things in life become much more manageable.
- Make marvelous mistakes, but learn from them.
As Dostoevsky said, "The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." So, do the things that scare you, take risks, but be mindful of your actions, especially if they have a malicious effect on others. If you mess up, that is ok, but make sure to show yourself and others that you won’t do it again. If you end up making the same mistakes over and over, you should reexamine whether you still define them as mistakes. If you do, then you should really try to change your behavior; own your mistakes don’t let them own you.
- Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.
I learned this one the hard way, because I used to abide by, “Do unto others what you want done unto you,” and unfortunately, that is not always how it works out with others. Don’t lose faith, but understand that people will hurt you from time to time so you can minimize the suffering by not setting any expectations. By doing that, you will be more surprised by people than disappointed.
- Good food solves all problems.
I am convinced that most of the world’s problems could be solved by having one big global potluck. In all seriousness though I have been amazed by the power food has on problem-solving. Food brings different cultures together by sharing the one thing we all have in common, the need for sustenance. I love talking about food, making food, and especially sharing it with others. I feel that it builds community among the different business, personal and familiar circles I’m involved in. Furthermore, let’s face it, people are more likely to shut up and pay attention to you if you can give them something delicious. I love that what I cook has a direct impact on the people around me...so I always try to make meals healthy whenever I can.
- Being poor is better than being in debt. My good friend and former roommate Alicia told me this one. She convinced me that paying off my students loans instead of doing anything else would give me so much more freedom in my life. Although this lesson seems obvious, I was shocked by how many young people don’t abide by this. I didn’t want to be in debt to anyone so I worked really hard after university to pay off all my student debt, and I am so glad I did. I might not have a lot capital on hand, but not being in debt to anyone but myself has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I now have the freedom to find other opportunities to invest in myself and the things I am passionate about without financial obstacles holding me back.
- Pay yourself first.
Honestly, financial advice is far and few between but I got this one from The Motley Fool, a great financial blog. This lesson is simple, for whatever dollar you make, put a portion of it in a savings account. You might not always be able to put the same amount away each week or month, but putting some amount aside consistently will only help you over time. I call this savings my “plan B” so that when there are those WTF moments we all experience at least once in life, I have something that will help cushion the fall. Once I recover I start paying myself again, and it always feels good to get paid.
- Nothing is as simple as we hope it to be, and there is beauty in that.
I appreciate this lesson each time I travel, regardless of where I go. It is fine to be steadfast in your convictions, but most of the time things are not black and white. Experiencing other cultures opened my mind to the notion that there are many ways to go about processes, problems and reaching solutions. When I push myself to think outside my preconceived notions, I end up learning so much more about the world around me. Just like in nature, there is beauty in the intricacies we find all around us.
- Good things come to those who wait...but work really hard while you wait.
I am an impatient product of an the over accommodating tech culture I live in. Due to my taste for instant gratification I used to try and build everything to scale immediately with little concern for execution.I have learned the hard way through many marvelous mistakes that starting something impulsively will only create an unstable foundation. As my father would say, “you can’t build on top of a shaky foundation, you have to start over and do it the right way. Even if it takes you more time, it will hold better and last longer.” So, now I have envisioned some big goals I want to achieve but I realize that these goals will not be accomplished in one day. However, this does not mean I will sit back and wait for things to materialize. I know I have to work as hard as I can each day to make my goal and reality align. So be patient, but keep working until there is a sign to move on to the next phase of your ultimate goal.
- Be grateful and life will be grand. From observing different cultures I have noticed that the more privilege one has, gratitude tends to diminish. I was once victim of the “grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome, until I realized that you don’t really appreciate what you have until it is gone. I find people who constantly compare themselves to their peers and are never happy and usually anxious. Anytime I start to think like that I around me and take a deep breath. I look at my hands, I feel my feet and then jump for joy because they all work accordingly. Then, I go to my sink and turn on the water. When I drink from it I am reminded that I am so lucky to be on this Earth. I have also learned to avoid unnecessary risk because of this. Instead of constantly wanting what I don’t have, I just try to focus on how to make what I do have better.
- Confidence and humility are your best friends.
Confidence is attractive and intriguing, when I play my cards right. When I am able let go and be exactly who I am, I feel free and creative. I try to give myself credit when it’s deserved but I also don’t see the need to shout it at the top of my lungs; that is what friends and fans are for. The balance of being confident and humble is hard to put into practice so I try to work on it every day. Thankfully, I have good friends that know my intentions are good and help guide me to find a better balance.
- Do what you love and others will follow.
I love helping people. I learned this from a young age but my teachers told me that was more of a hobby than a career path. Well, I decided not to take that advice and follow my heart. Doing what I love shows in my work and others are attracted to it. Since I cannot create without being passionate about it, I have turned down many opportunities because they did not align with my beliefs. Many might think I was stupid for turning down these opportunities, especially when times were tough, but in the end the right thing will come your way and you will be thankful that you waited for it.
- You are never too old to try something new.
I used to think that since I am of a certain age, I shouldn’t take on a new hobby or try to learn something new like, example, a language. Well, I was totally wrong! Adults tend to believe that if there is little benefit in learning something new if they are not able to excel in it immediately. I have witnessed that children don’t view it this way. They are open to trying new things and then they create based on how much or how little they take away from the experience. This practice will only add more depth to what you are already doing. You might not be at the same level as your younger counterparts, but who cares, at least you have the opportunity to learn something new. As Mark Twain said, “age is an issue of mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” It is never too early or late to learn something new, it will only add more depth to your legend.
- Education is the most powerful tool you can have, don’t take advantage of it.I have traveled to many different countries and found that education is tool that takes people places they could have never gotten to on their own. I am a believer that everyone who has the privilege to continue their education should go for it, but I don’t mean that in a purely institutional way. What I really mean is that when are in an academic or learning setting, take advantage of it, because whatever you take away you can use as tools you to help you navigate life better. Plus, loving learning early on will help you create healthy learning/study habits which will allow you take the most out of the education you have. I always say that life is my classroom, and wherever I am, I’m ready to learn and share my findings with others so they in turn can pay it forward. We as a society are as strong as our weakest link, and the only way we can strengthen that link is by using the tools of education.
- Today is awesome, make sure to be present for it.
I am very much a future-oriented person so I have to teach myself to be present almost everyday. I used to have a fear of missing out, but if I remain focused in the present, then I will never have that problem again. When I have my future-minded moments of struggle, I say this quote to myself to help keep me in the moment, "If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you're at peace, you're living in the present." -Lao Tzu
- Don’t be offended if someone doesn’t take your advice.
My sister taught me this one. When others don’t take your advice it is not because they don’t respect your opinion. Sometimes, people just need to learn the lesson, in time, on their own. I used to hassle my sister with all these tips about how to live life and I kept getting annoyed when she didn’t take my advice, thinking that I knew best. One day, she calmly looked at me and said, “I want to take your advice but sometimes I need to go out and experience this for myself.” Well, that not only shut me up, but it has helped me to understand that when others make decisions that go against your advice it is not because they don’t respect you. If it truly is good advice, eventually it will be followed, no need to push it.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
I am very passionate about what I do, but I try to not be too serious, life is too short. Be silly, laugh at yourself every once in awhile.I try to keep things light in order to make others feel comfortable. If you do something stupid or get embarrassed, that’s OK but don’t relish in it too much. I take myself seriously when I’m conducting myself in the real-world but when I mess up or fall down, I laugh it off and get back up again. Sometimes those laughs are actually tears, but my ability to get over it allows me to heal faster and get back to what really matters.
I can't wait to come back to this list in a year and see what has changed or where I am. Here's to the innovators, go create and be merry!
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